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Posts Tagged ‘moving to Fuerteventura’

Leaving Loved Ones Behind

We all leave someone behind when we move to a foreign land such as Fuerteventura. Sitting these people down and telling them of your big decision may be one of the hardest things to bring up in conversation.

But you MUST speak to those closest to you. All too often people tell their pals first… then leave it and leave it before telling parents, siblings etc – which only adds to your worries… when actually it often goes easier than you expect. But also… imagine if your family then find out friends knew a while before… because you were dreading telling them.

For example, when we told my parents of our plans they couldn’t wait to get rid of us! Ok… I’m obviously joking – but they were so pleased for us… extremely supportive and encouraging, and said they wished they’d done it themselves. Alan’s Dad was also equally supportive – and in fact has been out to inspect things and reassure himself that his little boy (ok… not so little or young anymore) is okay, and not living in a shack on the sand dunes.

In fact – this was often the reaction we received. Many assumed we were coming out to run a bar (absolutely the furthest thing from our minds) but that’s because that is what so many do when they move to sunnier climes. But everyone was either insanely jealous… or extremely encouraging.

We also experienced disbelief from a couple of our closest friends. They thought that we were simply “thinking about it”. There were many tears from my closest female friends once they saw the tickets, and the house was being packed up. They hadn’t quite believed it until that point – despite our insistence.

But throughout all of this… everyone was behind us… and looking forward to their own cheap holidays in the Canaries obviously!

This is not the case with all families of course – every family and friends dynamic is different… and only you can guess how they will react. So take a look at the following points to give you some food for thought.

1. Expect surprise, disbelief, and possibly even resentment. You may have been dangling the carrot of this for some time. But until they actually see proof of your move, they may not quite believe it. Some may even get angry, and feel that you are deserting them. Hey – it’s only natural. But don’t worry! This is completely natural. Place yourself in their shoes… and imagine your own reactions.

2. You may be anticipating your loved ones’ reactions with your own feelings of trepidation or posibly even dread. Try to understand how they are feeling… and react accordingly. Remember that your worries about the move may manifest itself in defensiveness or guilt. This is all completely natural too. Once again – don’t worry!

3. Point out the benefits to your loved ones. Remind them that you can nnow entertain them in the sunshine. You will get to spend more quality time with them now, as they come over especially to see you… rather than a few snatched moments over a cuppa.

4. Expect the unexpected. We had one friend that we told… whose parents had recently emigrated to Malaga. Her boss too had taken the plunge and was on the move. She and her husband had planned to move to Southern Spain too (albeit not for another 5 years or so) – and when we too told her that we were off… it gave her and her husband that final bump needed to speed up their plans. Within 1 month, she had sold the house (including the cat which is now happily ensconced with the new houseowners), packed up, taken in a short trip to the Sates to see her brother, and moved everything to a gorgeous top floor terrace apartment in Malaga. Almost 3 years later she’s still there, very happy, and her husband has built himself up a successful building business. When we told Alan’s teenage sons – their first question was  “Will you have a pool?” Of course they knew us well enough to know that our home is always home to them too – no matter where we are in the world. In fact, Alan’s eldest moved out to live with us permanently shortly after he left school, and is now enjoying life in the sun.

5. Expect oodles of questions from your friends and family… Why are you leaving? What will you do for work in Fuerteventura? When will we see you again? How can I contact you in an emergency? Will you be safe? What happens if it doesn’t work out?  Expect these, and many more, questions to come thick and fast. Be prepared – and just tell people the truth – and encourage them to come and see your new home for themselves.

6. Be prepared for the same questions over and over. You’ll almost end up sounding like a parrot (we did). But that’s because everyone will be so intrigued.

7. Plan your communication. Make sure that you gain email addresses and telephone numbers for all those nearest and dearest to you. Just by ensuring that you have these contact details will reassure your loved ones that you’re not going to forget them once you’re a few extra miles away. Remind them that it’s only a four hour flight. It’s not the South Pole after all!

8. Be prepared for some surprises, and possibly shocks, once you have moved. For us, some people didn’t keep in touch – some of whom surprised us. Others… who we thought would be an email once or twice a year have kept in much more frequent contact, and have enhanced the friendship and family relationships – even more than we shared back in the UK. You may find out who your friends really are. But the onus is also on you to keep in contact too! We have made many many friends here. But we have also made new friends in the UK through our dealings with Canary Nightlife.  Because the forum is so friendly… people can come in and have a chat without fear of being ridiculed (ok, except Madstock, Bart and Flash – but you’d have to visit the forum to find out how).

9. Hasta luego. There were some that we wanted to say a face to face goodbye to before we left. Not because we never thought we’d see them again… but because we knew that we knew ourselves that we were going to be quite emotional as we flew out anyway. So we took a couple of weeks out before we left to travel around the UK saying “Hasta luego” to as many as possible. We did get a proper send off at the airport though. My 3 closest female pals were insistent that they drove us up there. We all sat in Gatwick drinking champagne out of plastic cups (very classy)… taking 100s of photographs (apologies to the ladies in the toilets who wondered why 4 excited ladies were pulling faces and posing rather strangely for the camera).

10. The day of departure. Remember that the day of your departure is only a tiny moment in the whole big plan. Yes, emotions will be running high – excitement, trepidation, even fear. Make sure you bring your tissues.  It’s what happens after that, which will ensure your future. So don’t put so much pressure on yourself about that day in particular.

11. Visiting time! As soon as you’re all settled in… make plans on when you will next see your loved ones. Maybe book a short trip back (trust me, you’ll be missing Fuerteventura within a couple of days). You may not be able to do it straight away – but at least set the plans in motion.

No one  can say how it will all go – all you can do is listen to other people’s experiences, and roll with your own. Just take it slow… go easy on yourselves, and don’t be too harsh with your loved ones. Hey a whole new life beckons… and they can share this with you too!

The very best of luck to you – and don’t hesitate to drop us a line if you simply want to chat. That’s what we’re here for!

We’re also very interested in hearing from people who have either recently made the move… or who are just about to.

Goodbye England!

We loved England, and still do, but it’s like the breakdown of a marriage. “I still love you, but I’m not in love with you any more”… We’re proud to be English, but we chose to leave… We opted for moving to the Canaries as much through having an established network of friends here as anything else. It could have been anywhere – the place, believe it or not, was not that important to us, we just wanted to emigrate – and definitely to the sunshine. Read the rest of this entry »

Shipping your belongings to Fuerteventura

We gave a lot of thought to what we were bringing with us when we moved, and charity shops and friends and family certainly did very well out of us! We got rid of pretty much everything except what the essentials and ended up with 6 x 1 cubic metre boxes. Read the rest of this entry »

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